Saturday, 13 August 2011

Emma has an existentialist breakdown

So today I met up with Taegan, an old school friend, in the Alley Cafe. It was great to catch up with her again, and to eat cake, of course. (We had chocolate biscuit cake. Mmm...) All in all, it was a lovely afternoon, until that one terrible moment, when, on the bus on the way home, Taegan told me about her reaction the first time she'd read my blog. Apparently the main thought going through her head was, "Oh, so is Emma a hipster these days?"


Being vegan has various occupational hazards, mainly stereotypes about being angry and militant or a malnourished hippy. I can deal with these. But hipster? Please, no! Upon returning home, I sought out my brother, Ed, who's basically the internet in human form, to ask for a list of hipster-ish things to do, so I could do the opposite. But apparently that in itself is quite a hipster-ish thing to do. I mean, it's not like I'm really bothered what people think of me... Just so long as they don't think I'm a hipster...

And this is the point at which I had an existentialist breakdown.

Is that even okay to say? Or does that sound like something a hipster would say? I mean, I am vegan... And even worse, although I haven't bought anything non-vegan since October, up until June-ish, I did occasionally slip up and eat non-vegan food if it belonged to someone else, but I still called myself vegan. That probably makes me a poser, hey. I watch foreign films... I'm slightly odd... Sometimes I buy organic food... I don't like being labelled... And oh no! We have a record player! And, worst of all, I just realised that my Facebook profile picture is of me when I was little, wearing my Dad's incredibly huge glasses... And there was me just thinking it was a cute photo...

But no, I'm fine, I'm okay, I don't need to worry, right? I mean, I didn't even know what a hipster was until Ed told me a couple of months ago. And I've not used the word "ironic" since my A Level English Literature exam. I gave up on sarcasm years ago; any attempts I made always failed. I'm just too nice to be smug. Instead of pretending I always know what I'm talking about, I have a fantastic ability to give the impression that I haven't got a clue what's going on. Even when I've just been reading up on a topic the day before, I tend to feel unqualified to give my opinion until I've researched it just a little more. And surely it's okay to watch Spanish films if you're studying for a degree in Spanish? And I may be odd, but I'm odd in a weird little Emma-ish kind of way, not in a "look at me, aren't I cool?" kind of way; I've never been cool. I mean, my hair is an actual mess, not the kind that took several hours to style. I don't wear vintage clothes and tight jeans; I prefer to go for borderline-boring and comfortable. And until finding this photo, I didn't realise I'd ever worn such glasses.

And me liking vegan cake so much is just an Emma thing, not a hipster thing, right? I don't need to stop writing this blog... Right?

Even mini-Emma's starting to look worried...

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