Being vegan has various occupational hazards, mainly stereotypes about being angry and militant or a malnourished hippy. I can deal with these. But hipster? Please, no! Upon returning home, I sought out my brother, Ed, who's basically the internet in human form, to ask for a list of hipster-ish things to do, so I could do the opposite. But apparently that in itself is quite a hipster-ish thing to do. I mean, it's not like I'm really bothered what people think of me... Just so long as they don't think I'm a hipster...
And this is the point at which I had an existentialist breakdown.
Is that even okay to say? Or does that sound like something a hipster would say? I mean, I am vegan... And even worse, although I haven't bought anything non-vegan since October, up until June-ish, I did occasionally slip up and eat non-vegan food if it belonged to someone else, but I still called myself vegan. That probably makes me a poser, hey. I watch foreign films... I'm slightly odd... Sometimes I buy organic food... I don't like being labelled... And oh no! We have a record player! And, worst of all, I just realised that my Facebook profile picture is of me when I was little, wearing my Dad's incredibly huge glasses... And there was me just thinking it was a cute photo...
But no, I'm fine, I'm okay, I don't need to worry, right? I mean, I didn't even know what a hipster was until Ed told me a couple of months ago. And I've not used the word "ironic" since my A Level English Literature exam. I gave up on sarcasm years ago; any attempts I made always failed. I'm just too nice to be smug. Instead of pretending I always know what I'm talking about, I have a fantastic ability to give the impression that I haven't got a clue what's going on. Even when I've just been reading up on a topic the day before, I tend to feel unqualified to give my opinion until I've researched it just a little more. And surely it's okay to watch Spanish films if you're studying for a degree in Spanish? And I may be odd, but I'm odd in a weird little Emma-ish kind of way, not in a "look at me, aren't I cool?" kind of way; I've never been cool. I mean, my hair is an actual mess, not the kind that took several hours to style. I don't wear vintage clothes and tight jeans; I prefer to go for borderline-boring and comfortable. And until finding this photo, I didn't realise I'd ever worn such glasses.
And me liking vegan cake so much is just an Emma thing, not a hipster thing, right? I don't need to stop writing this blog... Right?
|Even mini-Emma's starting to look worried...|